Top Ten Guides: communicating with a co-parent

Top Ten Guides

Top Ten Tips for  
Communicating with a co-parent after a breakup

  1. Keep your children ‘front and centre’ in every conversation 
    Centre all discussions on your children’s needs, not past conflicts or personal grievances. 

  2. Use business-like communication 
    Treat your co-parent as a partner in a shared project: raising healthy, happy children. 

  3. Use tools to support 
    Co-parenting apps (like OurFamilyWizard, 2houses or AppClose) can track messages, schedules, and expenses neutrally. A shared online calendar can help with organising schedules.

  4. Stick to facts, not feelings 
    Keep communication about logistics, schedules, and parenting decisions, not emotions or judgements. 

  5. Respond promptly and politely 
    Reliability builds trust and reduces stress for everyone. 

  6. Be consistent, not competitive 
    Focus on stability and consistency between homes, not who’s the ‘better’ parent. 

  7. Avoid arguing in front of the children 
    Keep disagreements private. Hold your tongue and save it for later - children should never feel caught in the middle. 

  8. Respect differences in parenting styles 
    You may not always agree, but mutual respect models maturity for your children. 

  9. Plan ahead to prevent conflict 
    Regular check-ins and shared calendars can prevent confusion about schedules or expectations. 

  10. Acknowledge positive efforts 
    A simple ‘thank you’ or ‘I appreciate that’ can go a long way toward keeping cooperation alive. 

Bonus Tip: Remember, your children benefit most when they see both parents communicating calmly and respectfully. Be intentional in the way that you behave towards your ex-partner to model the behaviours you want your children to see.  

If you need help to communicate with a co-parent, or any other aspect of your breakup, reach out to me at allison@allisongreenfieldcoaching.co.uk 

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Top Ten Guides: telling your children - teens

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Top Ten Guides: telling your children - under 10s