Top Ten Guides: communicating with an ex-partner

1 Nov

Top Ten Guides

Keep communication purposeful and focused
Know the objective of your conversation and stick to it. Keep conversations limited to practical matters such as children, finances, or logistics.
Use neutral, respectful language
Speak as you would in a professional setting. Keep messages short, clear, and free of emotion, sarcasm or blame.
Choose the right medium and location
Use text or email for clarity and documentation. Have live conversations only when you are feeling calm and it is necessary and have these in a neutral space.
Set clear boundaries
Try to decide together what topics are okay to discuss and respect each other’s privacy.
Respond, don’t react
Don’t reply immediately - take time to cool off before responding to emotionally charged messages and consider if you even need to reply.
Keep the children out of it
Never use children as messengers or emotional sounding boards.
Establish a consistent communication routine
Regular updates can prevent misunderstandings and reduce last-minute stress.
Focus on shared goals
Keep mutual priorities (such as children, peace, stability, or financial fairness) at the centre of every discussion.
Don’t rehash the past
Avoid bringing up old arguments. Stay in the present and problem-solve.
Consider professional or digital tools
Apps or mediators can help reduce tension and keep communication clear.

Bonus Tip: If emotions run high, limit contact to written messages until communication stabilises.

If you need help to communicate with your ex-partner, or any other aspect of your breakup, reach out to me at allison@allisongreenfieldcoaching.co.uk

Allison Greenfield